The Main Ingredient to Your Success

The Main Ingredient to Your Success

Dwayne Ross provides Staff Development Training for Human Service & Workforce Development Agencies

In my youth development sessions and customized adult training, I usually tell them, “You are the main ingredient to your success!”  What? Don’t I need a twelve step program? What about my psychologist? I know I need a mentor! Tell me more…  I was told if “I was the problem there’s no way I can be the solution.” To believe that the solution is out side of your self is to say that you are being controlled by something bigger than you and that means you will never be in control of your own life. That is to say, God or the devil made you do it! As a free moral being on this earth, not driven only by your whims and urges you have the ability to change anything in your life including your circumstances. What if I was blind?  You still have the ability to change the circumstances.

As a training instructor, I am always engaging this topic of change as I present on anything out side of the technical use of a widget or tools etc. In the work shop No More Crumbs from the Table, I actually take each attendee through an excercise designed to answer the questions about “Success.” The book is written in the form of a biography telling about things that happened in my life from my life’s perspective and I take short pit stops to glean out of each section a life lesson or learning that anyone can use to change their lives.

Originally, I conducted the workshops for the welfare to work program in  California. One day as I was ending the workshop a young lady came up to say thank you and she asked may I have a copy of your book? I said I did not have a book and she said you should, smiled and walked away. On the plane back to my town, I kept thinking about the young lady and the way, she said, “I should,” as if she already knew one day I would. Up until that day it was only a cool title that was being requested, and those who attended would send e-mails saying how it made a really cool impact on their lives and how they knew if they applied the things I shared they could make their lives better.  I was using the content in my orientations and because of the principles, I was getting excellent outcomes, many people were getting jobs, starting business’ and it was gaining momentum.

I can remember going back home and praying and waiting for an answer from Go and nothing happened. Well not at that moment, but I remember when I began to take a chance and start writing, it flowed from my fingers like water through a straw. It was effortless and that was when I realized my prayer was answered already. It was up to me to do something. I started to write.  The amazing thing about this was how I had written it on paper and not on a computer. It was in the form of a bunch of pads and things all in a file folder. I had a date and went to the movies but had my file in a box on my car. Upon leaving the movies, I realized someone had broken into my car and stolen the box containing the file folder and some other important things and I was devastated.

I couldn’t believe this happened to me. Where were my angels? I mistakenly thought as many would I guess that was not meant to be. Some of us react to other outside forces or we conduct our lives based upon the actions of others but in reality it’s always a choice. Now if I held a gun at your head loaded, and said do this or that…  you are still the one who must make the choice to do what I have said or suffer the consequences. FEAR may be the factor, but it’s your choice.


You are the main Ingredient! It’s not you mom, dad, lack there of, the drugs, the man, the color of your skin, where you were born, who you were born to or any of those things. It’s only You! Once you understand the truth of this you can make some changes.  Most twelve step programs say this and that and finally some where down the line they get to choices. In my workshops I tend to get to the choice first.  If it’s to be it’s up to Me.  Now when I was working with a group of case managers one of things some would say is, ” You can’t change anyone.” and I agree.  People must see a need to change for  themselves. So going back to what I saying about No More Crumbs…

I thought it must not be for me. I kept living and doing what I was doing until a second opportunity showed up in my life. This time I began to write and once again the information came from my heart as if it was song of love. I used a computer this time and I located a editor. Now the first editor did not have an understanding of what I was doing so I had to get another editor a bout 2 years later.  Long story short the second editor was a middle school educator and writer as well. I can recall going back and forth and how many times she said, “This is really easy to read and I can see lives being changed with your book Dwayne, don’t let it sit on the side lines.”  I believed what she said and I saw that it would open a lot of doors in the speaking arena and I would become like Zig Ziglar or Les Brown and millions would know me and … and… whew. was I wrong, at least at that time.

Les Brown and Zig Ziglar

I thought it would happen based upon my genius and ability but the reality was, I was waiting again. Waiting for people to discover me, call me and invite me. I wasn’t being the main ingredient I was being one of the ingredients and that’s a big difference. I decided to brush off my old dreams, blow the dust off of my old thoughts, stir up my gift and get back out there with this program and with this book.  I am certain the topic is still a hot topic because everyday I meet people who are tired of their jobs, don’t know what they want to do after retiring and some are dying. Yes I said, dying. I heard about a person who retired after working for the government 35 years. He was still young but was losing his memory after a prostate cancer operation. He was losing his reason for being and wasn’t able to tap into his greatness. He thought his greatness was his job, so once he stopped working he stopped living and began to exist.  Are you existing?   Find out how you can live your dreams and go after the gifts inside of you.  Check out No More Crumbs from the Table. If you have a group of people who want to have a workshop customized give me a call or send me an e-mail.  You are the main ingredient to your success.  It’s time to live your best life ever.

Challenge your belief. Conduct your own Disputation! It is the art of challenging or disputing a limiting belief. Let’s say you want to go back to college… your argument might be “I can’t afford it, I’m too busy.”  Let’s look at the belief that is supporting what you are currently doing.  I call it the ABC’s of Belief. A=Argument, B=Belief that supports the argument and C=Challenge of the Belief  when you write the challenge (By completing my degree I will be able to secure higher level positions and increase my income) You can take it one step further by creating an Affirmation.  What is an affirmation?

Next post: Affirmations! 

The Main Ingredient to Your Success

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Youth Development is one Key to Future Leaders

I was standing by the gym waiting for my daughter at her High School. While waiting I saw the bus line fill up with a number of young people and they began to jump off the bus through the back door. immediately, I thought about how things had changed.

When I went to school we could never jump off the back of the bus. We were taught to wait… We were taught to respect each other’s time… Most people may have seen a bunch of young people just getting off the bus for school but for me I saw adults who will not want to wait in any line, adults who may walk over others to get their way and so much more. Leadership is developed. Yes, some people have natural leadership abilities but it must be cultivated. 

It is time for boundaries to be reset. It’s time to teach our young people how to be leaders, not followers. One youth at a time! The next time you get a chance to observe our future leaders, take time to see if what they are learning adds up to good leadership. Chances are we can cultivate at any earlier stage and perhaps save ourselves from some of the things we allow these days. I asked my daughter, what did she think about it and she said, “What’s the big deal?”

I knew exactly what we would talk about on the way home. 

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